This is not an effort to guilt anyone into submitting... really. I'm just trying to remain as transparent as possible through this process because I feel like that's what it is all about for me. This project is meant to be inspiring. It is meant to explore why we create and (maybe more importantly) why we don't. It's also meant to be an experiment in collaboration.
When I started this, I thought it would be fun to make a publication of work from the various creative people I know (including myself). But the turnout has been very low... pathetic really. I don't really understand why it is so difficult for people just to take part in a creative venture. I understand the fear thing -- I get scared of creativity all the time (and it often stifles my creations). And I get the "too busy" thing... though that frustrates me. But I don't get how people can just shrug off creativity as something which doesn't deserve respect or consideration. Much of what was submitted was stuff people just had lying around -- "oh, here's this thing I did a few years ago... you can use it if you like".
I feel like a little kid -- getting all excited about something that all the adults shrug off as silly and unimportant... all the while I run around shouting "look at me, look at me".
Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I'm asking people to get excited about something that is just in my own head, and then feeling confused when collaboration doesn't "just happen" on it's own. My reaction to that is if this isn't successful, I will probably just shut it down and continue work on my own stuff exclusively. Maybe that's what I am learning most from this. That collaboration is not something that is the genesis of a single person inviting other to come join. Collaboration is something that grows out of the needs of a group. If this is true, then my collaborative ventures are yet to come -- somewhere in the future when there is a group... and a need.
I'm trying not to get too down about it. There have been some positive parts, there have been some lessons learned. But overall, I feel foolish.
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Hi...I remember Mr Beckes at North Hollywood High School in the early l950's...He told me I was too bright to fail (I was failing most classes) and he made me stay after school to do my homework while he graded papers. He changed my life forever only he never knew it. I never told him ( I was a teen) and He got caught up in the McCarthy era stuff (I think) and left NH High. He never knew the impact his providing that calm for me to do homework had on my life, my children, my friends, etc. Really simple it was and look at the results over time. SO....You may never know what your energy creating the Zine for others to share will do. People may be affected in the future and you will never know about it. Except, I think, that releasing that creative energy on the world has an effect on the chi or flow of the universe and that chi carries you as well as it goes about it's business....just maybe that is the truth...I hope so...anyway, whenever I feel the frustration of non response to my love and energy I try to remember Mr Beckes ( I think that spelling is right, but I'm not sure) Doesn't matter, 'cause his spirit lives in me anyway. Simple. Much love, MO
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